Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Think You Might Like Video Dating?

Since singles looking for love can't meet people in person right now, video dating is getting really popular, according to an article I just read:

https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2020/4/3/21198794/coronavirus-video-dating-tinder-hinge-grindr

It mentions a video speed dating platform called League Live (https://www.theleague.com/league-live/#are-you-in), which started in San Francisco in December 2019 and is now expanding to 13 other cities. It lets users have a series of 3-minute video chats with other singles 2 nights a week using a phone app. Sounds easy, right?

But here's the best part: Research about video dating during the pandemic shows that it could lead to longer, more meaningful conversations than are the norm for regular dating apps or online dating. As the Vox article mentioned above says: "This crisis is ushering in a new period of modern courtship. Longer, richer conversations are taking place; people are taking the time to get to know each other before meeting face to face." 

What an interesting development! It's almost like we've gone back in time to the way previous generations met and dated. Because singles are working from home all day and then stuck at home in the evening and on weekends when they'd normally be out socializing, they're feeling a little lonely and hungry for human contact. 

So they're using the extra hours they now have in the relaxed atmosphere of their own homes to slow down in the dating world. Their isolation and need to connect through more than just texting or emailing is leading to deeper conversations with new people because they're more willing to put in the time it takes to get to know someone on more than just a "swipe a face" level.

As a baby boomer who remembers "traditional" dating where folks met in person through a friend, at school, in a club, or some other non-electronic way, I'm touched by this turn of events. I will certainly be encouraging my clients to try video speed dating to see what happens. 

How about you? Does this idea appeal to you? If not, I'd urge you to consider it. If you need some support in psyching yourself up for it, give me a call. I'd be happy to provide the motivation you need to try something new. Who knows what it could lead to! 

(267-245-3023; gayle@datingsuccesscoaching.com) 

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Spend Time Alone to BE Who You Want to Attract

How are you doing with being more isolated during this pandemic shutdown period? Well, I hope. I know it can be very challenging, especially for singles who believe they spend enough time alone and wish they had a partner.

In my last blog, I talked about using this quiet time during quarantine to work on becoming more comfortable with yourself and healing past wounds that might have complicated your relationships and/or derailed your love life. It's a great opportunity to LOOK INWARD since we're unable to go outward to socialize. 

That means carving out some alone time...away from other members of your household, away from your computer if you're working from home. That's what I've been trying to do myself the last week or so.

Even though I've been in a loving, long-term relationship for 5 years, it doesn't mean I don't have some "issues" that require some inner work. Things certainly come up (ie, where my interactions with my partner "touch a wound" from my past and trigger behavior that causes a rift between us), so I'm taking the opportunity to look hard at and work on that stuff now while a quieter, simpler life has given me the "gift" of unscheduled time.

The 4 areas I'm focusing on are:
1) Less judgment of myself and others
2) Trying not to take things personally
3) More self-love, self-care, and responsibility for my own happiness
4) Forgiveness of those I never forgave + forgiveness of myself

Yes, this is a lot...and I'm going to take it one baby step at a time and have patience with myself through the process (as a coach friend of mine says, "Slowly is holy"). But I'm committed to modifying my behavior in these areas.

Number 3 is the one I encourage you to consider too. Are you taking good care of you right now--not just physically but also emotionally and psychologically? Are you paying attention to your feelings and thoughts and gently accepting them with kindness? Are you creating your own happiness rather than expecting others to do that? If you're doing all of these things, you're loving yourself well and preparing yourself to be well-loved by a future partner.

If you're not, now is a good time to sit quietly, look within yourself, and commit to:
- listening to and acting according to the wisdom of your inner voice
- following the guidance that comes to you in prayer/meditation
- giving yourself the radical acceptance and love you deserve as a radiant, beautiful spiritual being

If you need support or encouragement as you embark on this journey of self-reflection and self-love, let me know. We can schedule a coaching session on the phone, FaceTime, or Zoom at your earliest convenience. I'd be happy to share what I'm learning on this path--so it'll be easier for you! 
(gayle@datingsuccesscoaching.com or 267-245-3023)