We Must Heal From Past Love to Open to New Love

In my experience with both coaching and dating, I've found that one of the most-common reasons people can't attract healthy new relationships is that they haven't yet healed from an old one.

While navigating the 5 stages of grieving the loss of my last relationship, I've been soul-searching and struggling for ways to make the process easier and faster, even though I know I can't rush it. I have to take the time to sit with the feelings and gradually release the love I had for that person...so my heart will be completely open to somebody new.

My roots as a writer date back to 1965 when, at age 12, I wrote my first poem. Since then, I've written poetry at times when I had deep emotions I needed to express. It was always a helpful, therapeutic release. This poem is what came out when I sat down this afternoon to express my feelings about the relationship I ended 3 months ago today:

                               Ghosts
Spirits from our past who won't move on
Thinking it comforts us to have them near

Lovers from our past we can't let go
Wishing we'd forget them yet paralyzed by fear

Attachments of the heart...stronger than time
Keep spirits trapped on earth, lovers drowned in tears

Your head said you'd grieved the sudden loss of your wife
But your heart won't release her and open to new love in your life

So she stayed by your side and pushed others away
You tried to love again but could not find a way

Then, not just your heart was broken; mine was too 
But I've now forgiven you for what you didn't intend to do

Perhaps one day she'll move forward and into the "Light"
But I am long gone, exhausted from that fight

We each had our ghosts we hoped to leave behind
so we could attract the love we'd been yearning to find

Peace to you, old friend, may your heart soon be free
of the spirit whose embrace kept you from loving me.