Your True Love Won't Just Appear at Your Door

Thinking it'd be nice if you didn't have to actually "date" in order to find love? Unfortunately, you'll have to think again.

Many of my clients complain about the effort and time it takes to search for dating prospects--both online and in person. And I have to gently remind them that a partner isn't likely to show up on their doorstep. They'll have to carve out the time and muster up the energy to do what it takes to cross paths with that person.

They'll have to make a commitment to the process and keep at it until they succeed. There are no shortcuts.

When I tell them it took me 8 years of dating after my first divorce to find my second husband and nearly 3 years after my second divorce to find the amazing man I'm with now, they often sigh deeply. It sounds like something they don't have the patience for. It sounds like too much work.

But isn't something you desire worth putting some time and effort into? Of course, it is. And so is dating. It's a necessary part of the journey to your compatible partner...and, like every other important dream in your life, it involves making a plan and taking action.

In the end, though, when you're with the love of your life, it's totally worth it.

Making a plan for your love means:
 - getting clear on the character, values, temperament, interests etc. of a compatible partner
 - getting your "ducks in a row" so your life has physical and emotional room in it for him/her
 - getting over your past and rebuilding your self-esteem and confidence if necessary

Taking action to meet your love means:
 - joining singles organizations, online dating sites, and hobby groups to meet new folks
 - promising yourself you'll be open to available people who are fairly close matches
 - letting down your guard and being honest in the getting-to-know-you process
 - staying open to the "experience" of dating--the fun parts and the not-so-fun parts

I would never have met the great guy I'm seeing now if I hadn't had a plan. That meant taking the time to heal from a breakup last summer, to rebuild my self-confidence, and to clarify what a better match for me would be as I prepared to write an online dating profile that could attract that man.

And, of course, I never would have met him if I hadn't taken action--to create that profile, post it, and then reach out by writing him that first email. 

What are you waiting for? You know what you need to do to find your true love. Are you ready to make your plan and act on it? I'm here to help if you need some extra courage or strategy ideas!