Thursday, April 6, 2017

Common Lies to Watch for in Online Dating

Every client who comes to me for dating coaching asks the same question: "Don't most people lie in their online dating profiles?"

The short answer is "Yes" because a 2012 survey by the group OpinionMatters showed that 53% of online daters admitted to lying in their profiles (of course, that means that 47% don't, so you might get lucky and meet someone who's completely truthful). 

I always urge clients to be open minded and not to prejudge potential dates based on their photos or statistics until they've met them in person. You never know if there's chemistry until you're physically together. In the meantime, though, there are things you can look for when reading profiles so you can weed out the dishonest folks. If any of these things sound too good to be true, they probably are.

The top 10 things men lie about when online dating:
1. Job (better than it is) - 40% of men do this
2. Height (taller, especially if they're under 5'10")
3. Weight (losing a few pounds)
4. Physique (athletic)
5. Money they earn (more)
6. Seniority at work (more than they really are)
7. Profession (more interesting than it actually is)
8. Knowing celebrities
9. Having an assistant or employees
10. Working in the film industry
The top 10 things women lie about when online dating: 
1. Weight (losing a few pounds)
2. Age (younger than they are)
3. Physique (toned)
4. Height
5. Money they earn
6. Bust size (larger)
7. Profession (more glamorous than it is) - 30% of women do this
8. Knowing celebrities
9. Having an assistant or employees
10. Working in the entertainment industry

The reason people lie is to make a good first impression, but this backfires when they meet potential dates in person and can't live up to the image they tried to create in their profile. That's why I ALWAYS recommend being honest in how you present yourself online.  

Interestingly, as we age, we find this easier to do. In fact, research shows that the older online daters got, the less likely they were to lie. This tells me that older daters are wiser: they've learned that lying doesn't pay in the long run. You'll usually get caught in the lie, and things won't end well.

Studies bear this out: 33% of online daters said they falsified their profile so much that it prevented them from getting beyond the "meet and greet" for coffee (i.e., they never got an actual first date). 

If that's how you want things to turn out for you, go ahead and lie. If not, be honest. That, of course, starts with accepting yourself just the way you are and having the confidence to show that self to others. If you need help with that, drop me an email so I can support you...and ultimately help you get more dates using online dating.

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