This week, a 40-something woman who'd attended one of my motivational dating seminars told me her online dating search had not gone well. After trying 4 or 5 sites last year, she'd given up because she found that too many people weren't serious about finding a long-term partner, and she'd gotten very few replies when she reached out to men who looked promising.
I understand her frustration. I had similar disappointments in my years of online dating. But now, a new article in the February issue of O Magazine called "How to Win the Online Dating Game" cites some statistics that should give online daters hope:
- Today, about one-third of marrying couples in the U.S. say they met online
- 15% of American adults have used a dating site or app
- People looking for love online are more likely to have full-time employment and higher education and to be seeking a long-term partner (according to Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist, senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and chief scientific advisor to Match.com)
- Plenty of Fish (www.pof.com), which is where I met my partner, now has 150 million users and is still free to use
- 39% of Match.com users are age 37-52, and 27% are age 53-72
Yes, you need to educate yourself about how to avoid scammers (drop me an email if you want help with that), read user reviews to find the best sites for your age group, and follow your intuition when talking to potential dates on the phone to weed out inappropriate people. But, in my opinion, it's a mistake to discount online dating entirely--especially if you're a woman over 50. As experience has taught me, that's where the over-50 men are.
Here are some tips that I and other dating coaches recommend for you if you're in this group:
- Use the Reverse Match and Daily Matches features on Match.com
- Add men to your Favorites list on a dating site so they get alerted of your interest
- Spend at least 15-30 minutes a day searching for matches on at least 2 sites
- Initiate contact with at least one man each day who's open to women your age
- Consider trying these other dating sites:
o 50 Plus Club
o Age Match
o Just Senior Singles
o Zoosk (which has 40 million members)
I also recommend changing your attitude about online dating so it's less negative and more positive. You can shift your mind-set by not focusing on the "bad apples" you encounter occasionally -- but, instead, on my story and those of all the other people you know or heard of who met their partner or spouse online. There are plenty of success stories happening every day. Maybe you could be the next one!
(If you need help putting your all-new 2019 online dating action plan into effect, call me at 267-245-3023. I'm standing by, ready to support and motivate you!)