WHAT DOES AN ONLINE DATING PROFILE REALLY TELL YOU?

I recently read an excerpt about online dating in a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, which said online dating "offers a great opportunity to practice identifying emotional maturity as you read and consider what people are revealing about themselves in their profiles and emails."

I totally agree. It definitely pays to read others' profiles carefully to determine what the words they've chosen to describe themselves tell you about the person inside.

The book goes on to say "Although some people are better writers than others, all personal writing reveals something about how people think, what they value, and what they're most focused on, not to mention their sense of humor and sensitivity to other people's feelings."

I agree again. What a potential date decides is worth mentioning in a profile gives you clues about his or her priorities in life as well as about attitudes and personality traits. 

For example, I believe you can usually discern whether a person is an introvert or an extrovert, based on what he or she feels comfortable telling others (ie, strangers and the Internet universe) about him- or herself. If the person is very private and/or introverted, expect the profile to be fairly short without much detail. On the other hand, an extrovert like me will find it hard to stop sharing the details.

The amount of detail in the profile also reveals how confident the person is. Those who reveal more are likely pretty comfortable in their own skin, with a good sense of self and decent self-esteem and thus no fear of bragging a bit and putting information "out there". 

But what about those "just the facts, Ma'am" profiles that list a few of the person's interests but not much more? I know many of my clients complain that people don't write enough in their profiles to give others a sense of them. Of course, those are the profiles that generate the least interest and the fewest emails asking for connection.

I recommend sharing enough to pique people's interest so they want to email you to flesh out the details you've shared...and start a conversation so they can learn more about you. Based on what's mentioned above, I'd say it's smart to consider writing about activities or experiences that reflect
- what you value
- how you think
- what you're most focused on (how you spend your time)
- what you're most passionate about
- what makes you laugh 

These things will give people reading your profile a glimpse into who you are and what makes you tick...and whether you're the type of person they'd enjoy spending time with. Which is all a profile is meant to do--spark an interest in taking things further (with a phone call, meet-and-greet get-together, and then hopefully a first date).

If you have no idea what you want to write in your profile, give me a call. I specialize in helping singles write profiles that get others interested in reaching out to you. (267-245-3023 or gayle@datingsuccesscoaching.com).