Single Women: Do you LIKE men?

This may sound like a funny question, but it crosses my mind often when I talk to single/divorced women at my seminars or as clients. After listening to a litany of complaints and criticisms of men (the ones they divorced and the ones they've dated since then), I start to wonder: Do they like men at all? Don't they know any fabulous, big-hearted guys?

Granted, when people come to me for one-on-one dating help or advice at a seminar, they're usually in a fairly negative place. They've tried a lot of things that haven't worked...had a lot of disappointments in the dating world...and are losing faith and/or giving up. They're about to throw up their hands and scream "I've looked everywhere, and I can't find any decent men!" So it's no surprise I tend to hear more negative than positive commentaries on a day-to-day basis.

Just once, I'd love to hear a female client say to me "I really like men. In fact, I have a bunch of great male friends, and I'm friendly with my ex-husband now. I just need new ideas for crossing paths with guys who are my type for dating." Wow! It'd be a breeze getting a woman like that more dates! She's got the type of attitude that makes her a man magnet! :-)

Unfortunately, most of the women who seek my help have not-so-flattering opinions of men and carry an array of toxic emotions related to past experiences with guys, including mistrust, anger, disillusionment, disgust, and fear. (Of course, men sometimes carry similar emotions, but that's another blog.) They're often very judgmental, unforgiving, and uncompassionate. Because they don't understand men enough to know why they do the things they do, the tend to make incorrect snap judgments about them and to write them off as uncouth, uncultured, or inappropriate. Pretty soon, they're letting their experiences with the "bad apples" color their thinking and feelings about ALL single/divorced men. And that's sad.

Sad because they could be passing up some genuinely nice guys. I could tell the story of the generous, devoted, supportive man I met online and married until I'm blue in the face. But they tend to think I was "lucky" and their chances of finding the same are nonexistent. I disagree...because it was after I changed my attitude about men that nicer guys came into my life.

An attitude shift (along with my guidance as to where they're more likely to find nice guys) can totally change these women's search results. The better they understand the deep-felt emotions that are under the surface for most men, the more open-hearted and accepting they'll be when meeting new men. And there's nothing more attractive to a man than an understanding, accepting woman. Try it and see! And let me know how it goes or what you think. I'd love to hear from you!