At a recent presentation I did about online dating for people over 50, I heard a lot of confusion and negativity in the crowd's questions...and several misconceptions about what I think is an excellent dating tool for older daters. Let me clear up some of these myths:
Myth #1-Men online won't contact women who are their age or older. Yes, it's true that men will start off trying to meet their ideal woman, who is usually younger. But, when those women don't write back (which is often what happens if they're choosing women 10-15 years younger), it soon becomes clear it might be worth considering someone closer to their own age. That's why I always encourage my female clients to write enthusiastic emails to men 5 years either side of their age (younger and older).
If a man gets a complimentary, flattering email from a woman with a lot in common with him, he's very likely to at least read her profile. If he finds her photo attractive, he'll often consider emailing back, even if she's outside his desired age range. My second husband was 7 years younger than me and said he ultimately wasn't worried about age--he just wanted to meet someone he was attracted to and felt comfortable with.
Myth #2-It's not safe to date online because there are so many scammers. Yes, the scamming thing is worse than it used to be and is definitely something to watch out for. But it doesn't mean online dating as a whole is unsafe. You just need to follow you intuition and this rule of thumb: "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." If someone seems over-the-top into you when they barely know you, emails and texts you more than once a day, but then keeps making excuses about why they can't meet in person, move on--especially if they say their work takes them out of the country a lot, they have a sob story about a deceased child or spouse, or they begin telling you about their money worries.
Myth #3-Women online aren't interested in shorter men. There are plenty of women 5 feet to 5'6" tall who'd be happy to meet an average-height man. There are even women taller than 5'6" who'd date a shorter guy. It's all about whether your personalities, values, philosophies, and interests match up. Height is just a number.
Myth #4-Everyone online lies about their age and weight. Yes, people who aren't all that confident and whose self-image needs improvement might be less than honest about their age and body type. But you can't assume that everyone online does that. Daters who assume that anybody who lists his or her body type as "average" is actually overweight are cynical at best. Before jumping to often-incorrect conclusions, explore what you have in common with each individual and then, if you feel a click on the phone, take a chance and meet in person. You may be passing up a lot of great potential dates by erroneously prejudging them. Believe it or not, some people actually look BETTER than their photos! I certainly found this to be the case with several men I met online and wound up dating.
Myth #5-It's hard to find men online who are into the arts and culture. This is definitely not true. There are several dating sites for people who love art, theater, ballet, etc., such as:
There are also groups on www.meetup.com for those who love film, theater, opera, ballet, and more. You could also search the large sites like Match.com or Plenty of Fish (www.pof.com) for fellow arts lovers by typing in a keyword like film, theater, opera, ballet, etc. The site will sort through the profiles and show you the ones that mention that keyword.
That busts some of the common myths. Don't buy into these inaccurate mind-sets. If you enter the online dating realm with a positive attitude, you'll be amazed at how quickly you'll be setting up phone calls and coffee meetings with nice people! Give me a call if you need some support with that (267-245-3023). I'd be happy to help!