If there's one thing I've learned about dating--and LIFE--in my 64 years, it's that ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING. A positive attitude is the #1 factor for success in everything we try to do, including dating.
If you've been struggling to succeed in finding a compatible person to date, now is the time for an attitude shift--which means you need to check in with yourself by asking questions like this:
Do I really believe there is someone out there who's just right for me...and that I'll eventually be successful in finding that person?
Do I feel confident that I'm a "good catch"--somebody with a lot to offer a potential partner? (Or have I let past dating disappointments damage my self-esteem?)
Am I willing to invest a fair amount of time and energy into searching for a partner? (Or is my life too busy and complicated for me to carve out time for this?)
Do I have a positive view of the opposite sex and the dating world in general? (Or are lingering hurts, anger, or trust issues making me feel more negative than positive?)
Be really honest.
If you can't answer "yes" to all 4 questions, you have some prep to do before entering the dating world. And I specialize in helping single, divorced, and widowed people do that prep.
With my support and direction, you can develop a whole new perspective about the dating process and the approaches and strategies that will work best for you.
Every single person is unique. The widow or widower who lost a spouse after a decades-long happy marriage comes to me with a far different attitude than the divorced person who was cheated on. The former wants to find someone as similar to the spouse as possible and is excited about finding love and happiness again, while the latter is cautious and unsure about finding a trustworthy new person and desires someone as different as possible from the spouse.
Usually, the widowed person with the positive attitude will have an easier time in the dating world than the wary divorced person with a less-positive attitude. But that doesn't mean the latter can't change his or her attitude and start seeing things in a new light--generating hope and optimism based on a changed perspective.
This often happens after a couple of pleasurable dating experiences with nice people. And, since I always encourage my clients to be consistently proactive about seeking out places and ways to meet new people, those good dating experiences can begin happening pretty quickly. The more "practice dating" he or she does (without an "agenda" or any sense of urgency), the better.
During the "practice dating" journey going out with several different types of people, clients learn a lot about themselves, the opposite sex, and relationships. And, most importantly, they get more and more clear on their "partner vision," better able to screen out incompatible matches, and more confident in their ability to be a successful dater.
Now, THAT'S a great attitude to have as you start fresh with your dating adventures in the new year! I look forward to supporting you with that!
gayle@datingsuccesscoaching.com
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