Here is the follow-up I promised to my earlier blog about what turns men off. Here is what turns women off on a first date:
1. Being rude to wait staff or others
2. Tuning out while she's speaking
3. Talking too much about himself without asking questions about her
4. Bad hygiene (long, dirty fingernails; need for deodorant; dirty, ill-fitting clothes)
5. Insecure personality/lack of confidence
6. Bad shoes
7. Referring to women as "females"
8. Being late
9. Ignoring her jokes
10. Constantly interrupting her
11. Telling her she's "not like other women"
12. Being cocky or arrogrant
13. Being unmannerly
14. Talking over-enthusiastically about a sport or team she doesn't share an interest in
15. Being fidgety
17. Looking too often at his phone
18. Being oblivious to her reactions to what he's saying
After reading these 2 lists, it's obvious that many of the same things turn off both men and women -- things such as lateness, bad hygiene, lack of confidence, and looking too often at your phone. You should definitely put attention on those areas when going out for the first time with someone.
A couple more things that both my male and female clients tell me are turn-offs at a first meeting are:
- making any kind of sexual references
- talking negatively about ex-partners or past relationships
But what the 2 lists also show me is that common courtesy, respect, active listening, and making a sincere effort to show an interest in learning about the other person are really important too.
How about you? Have anything you want to add to either list? I'd love to hear your input!