In fact, studies show that single women looking for men to date seek a partner who can make them laugh twice as often as they claim to be funny themselves. And men want to be the provider of humor 33% more often than they seek that ability in a partner. Instead, they want a woman who laughs at their jokes. This is because laughter demonstrates enjoyment and interest, or connection and understanding--which men feel are desirable qualities in a potential mate.
How true! Most of the men I dated over the years did their best to make me laugh...and often succeeded. And, because I laugh easily, it created an instant bond between us.
Here are some more fun facts about laughter in relationships:
- Women tend to choose funnier men as partners and often list sense of humor as the #1 trait they desire in a man.
- Evolutionary psychologists say a sense of humor is a sign of intellect and strong genes and that women--the more selective sex due to the need to find suitable fathers for their children--are attracted to funny men because of the genetic benefit for their potential offspring.
- When you first meet someone, a good sense of humor signals to you that he or she is not just intelligent but also creative and playful--two more very attractive qualities.
When I asked the women in the audience at my presentation about laughter why they think women laugh more, they said "Because we're often laughing at how ridiculous men are." Men, on the other hand, believe they're funnier than women. I beg to differ. Consider comedians such as Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball, Ellen DeGeneres, Melissa McCarthy, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sarah Silverman, Amy Schumer, and many more.
So why do women laugh more than men? Well, there are several clinical explanations having to do with the differences in women's brain chemistry. But, for the sake of this article, I'll keep it simple:
The main reason is that, as research shows, men think that, by being funny, they'll impress women and win them over; so they do their best to be humorous. And women, who are natural connectors, laugh at their jokes as a way of creating a bond. As the psychologists describe it, "laughter is an involuntary response that functions as a social lubricant." In other words, it eases the development of a connection between two people.
In short, a shared laugh is a great way to begin feeling close to someone...and to begin building a foundation for a relationship. Something to keep in mind as you circulate in the dating world. Have fun!!