Often, clients who haven't been in the dating world for ages ask me how much time the dating search will take. My simple answer is "more than you might think."
Why do I say that? Because, if you want to find a compatible person, it's smart to look in lots of places and/or to try lots of online dating websites. And then to try some more venues and more websites...and to continue that strategy week after week, month after month...until you cross paths with someone who's as interested in you as our are in him/her.
That takes time....and patience.
It means you need to set aside some hours for 2 things:
1) Sitting at your computer to peruse profiles and write emails and later having phone calls and meetings over coffee if you want success with online dating
2) Checking the newspaper and sites like Bucks County Alive.com (here in PA) and meetup.com for ideas of places to go to meet folks in person, such as singles groups and hobby activities...and then leaving your house at least twice a month to check these things out
If your life is super-busy because you have too many obligations, such as kids, elderly parents, a disorganized home or office, or long hours at work, it's unrealistic to think you can devote the time you'll need to search for dating prospects and then go on actual dates. And, if you do try to make the time, you'll probably be stressed out as a result.
The answer? Get all the other "ducks in a row" in your life (with a nice balance between work and family) first, before you even think about dating. Then, and only then, can you fully focus your attention on your dating life. And, believe me, if you're looking for love, that pursuit needs and deserves your FULL attention!
By full attention, I mean that you put a little effort into it every day. That could mean spending 15 minutes to search online and send an email or two...or to research some groups or events to attend over the weekend or next week.
It could mean spending 10 minutes each day to respond to whatever emails you get on an online dating site..or having a phone call with someone you've exchanged emails with. (And then, of course, setting aside an hour within a week or so to have coffee or tea with an online prospect you clicked with on the phone).
Or it could mean spending 2 or 3 hours on a Saturday or Sunday attending a singles hike, wine tasting, dance, or other social event. Or the same amount of time checking out an art gallery, museum, movie premier, sporting event, arts festival, garden tour, or other outing related to your hobbies/passions.
You get the idea. Time needs to be carved out...and you need to commit yourself to periodically trying new things so you can cross paths with new people.
If you'd like an assessment of whether you're ready for dating yet and whether you can realistically devote the time to it, let me know. I'd be happy to help you determine your readiness...and then a dating game plan for when you ARE ready. gayle@datingsuccesscoaching.com or 267-245-3023
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