DATE YOURSELF FIRST!

There is a 2005 book called Marry Yourself  First! by Ken Donaldson, which I sometimes recommend to my clients as they prepare for dating. As the subhead says, it's about designing a life of passion, power & purpose. It emphasizes the importance of creating your own happiness before you seek a husband or life partner and expect him to do that for you.

I agree wholeheartedly...and I always urge my clients seeking healthy partnerships to get healthy and happy themselves first. 

For my female clients, this can be tough. Often, they're so busy focusing on making other people happy (their parents, kids, bosses, clients, friends, etc.) that they don't know what makes them happy. Even if they do know, they often don't carve out time to do those things.

This is what I mean when I say "Date Yourself First". Plan some fun for yourself. Pamper yourself. Do things you love! There's no need to wait for someone to accompany you. A happy, healthy woman knows how to thoroughly enjoy her own company--wherever she is, whatever she's doing.

That's the philosophy of a female self-empowerment expert I like named Regena Thomashauer (aka "Mama Gena"), and it's why I recommend her books,  website (http://mamagenas.com/), and events to my single/divorced/widowed women clients. Her enterprise--The School of Womanly Arts--helps women get back in touch with and learn how to express their desires and needs. Mama Gena believes that the only way to manifest what you want in your life is to clearly define it and then have the confidence to ask for it.  

This was hard for me for many years...until I discovered Mama Gena. She asked us to gather with a group of women, make a "Desires" list, and then share it aloud with everyone. This is easier said than done, but, after a few months of practice, I got more comfortable doing it. Mama Gena helped me learn how to ask the people in my life for what I wanted as a request rather than a demand--as a favor rather than an expectation. It worked especially well with the men in my life and eventually helped me form healthier bonds and more fulfilling partnerships than I'd ever had before (including the relationship I'm in now at age 66). 

How about you? Do you feel you might need to get in better touch with your desires? Do you want to strengthen your ability to create your own happiness and, as a result, attract someone to share it with you? If so, I highly recommend reading and doing all the exercises in Thomashauer's first book Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts. 

I'd be happy to support you as you do that! Just call me at 267-245-3023 or email gayle@datingsuccesscoaching.com.