LIFE-TRANSFORMING THINGS I LEARNED FROM MEN-Part 5

This is the 5th part of a series I started on April 15. Please feel free to scroll down to see the first 4 posts.

WHEN DATING THE 2ND TIME AROUND…
The 8-year post-divorce dating period was, for me, a time rich with life lessons—things to which my eyes were opened, things that made every future relationship with men (and the relationship with myself) better and easier. There were four men who were particularly influential.
1. Kyle: Kyle was a man 3 years older than me whom I dated for about 6 months. He was very athletic, funny, and smart. But, because he’d never been married or in a long-term relationship, he was very self-focused, inconsiderate, and uncaring. He was also highly opinionated, arrogant, and competitive (both in sports and relationships). Every time we’d have a disagreement, he’d say “You want to win, don’t you? You want me to give in.” He wasn’t able to have a debate of any kind without seeing it as a competition. Because he was naturally competitive, he easily saw that trait in me. When he told me I too was competitive, I balked at first. I’d never been into competitive sports. What he meant, however, was that I wanted to win every argument and always thought I was right.

Again, a man noticed a shortcoming of mine that I hadn’t been able to see. And the lesson that came from that interaction was invaluable. Kyle taught me the deeper meaning of the age-old question: “Would you rather be right or happy?” After breaking it off with him, I realized I attracted competitive men because I too was competitive. And I needed to tone that down if I ever expected to have a smooth-flowing, healthy partnership. That insight helped me in every dating relationship I had after that and is still helping me today in my second marriage.