Stop Seeing "Mr. Wrong" to Meet "Mr. Right"

Another common dating mistake I see ALL the time is this: A woman is dating someone she knows is wrong for her but doesn't understand how that's hindering her from meeting someone better. She'd rather stay with the "devil she knows" than venture out into the dating world of the unknown.

To her, it's logical: she doesn't know if and when she'll ever meet "Mr. Right", so she might as well stay with "Mr. Wrong". She drifts aimlessly and mindlessly along in the relationship (even if she's bored, unhappy, or even mistreated) because she's afraid and/or unmotivated to make the effort to change her life and fulfill her desires. She may not be having any fun with or getting her needs met by this guy, but at least she has someone to do things with on Saturday night.

To me, this is not only illogical but also self-sabotaging and counterproductive. My dating experiences and those of my clients have shown me that you're wasting precious time and energy when you stay stuck with the wrong one instead of seeking the right one. You're also telling the Universe "I'm OK with second best. Don't worry about me." Is that really the message you want to send?

Also, from a practical point of view, if you spend every weekend with a "ho-hum" mismatched partner, you simply won't have the time to seek new prospects by going out to activities or searching online. In fact, this is what many women tell me. Well, duh! Of course, you won't have the time if you don't make the time! They'd rather just moan about and blame the man they're with for their discontent--when, actually, they are the ones to blame.

When I suggest that a client stop seeing his/her current "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" to free up time to cross paths with new people, they often resist. They can't imagine being without someone, so they ignore my suggestion. And, of course, they just continue on--unhappily settling for 2nd best--because they're not willing or don't understand how crucial it is to close one door so a new one can open.

Or maybe they just don't feel worthy or capable of attracting the best. (This too is a common problem in the dating world.)

In any event, none of the above behaviors will help you attract the love of your life. Here's what will: saying goodbye to the person who's not right and then focusing your energy on seeking someone who is.

I have a recent personal example to motivate you: I had 4 dates with someone (let's call him Man #1) in January who then dropped the ball and stopped asking me out. By the time he did ask again 3 weeks later, I'd already been using a different dating site for 2 weeks and had met a great new guy (Man #2)...and had decided I liked him a lot more. I was more attracted to Man #2, and he seemed much more interested in getting to know me than Man #1. We're now happily dating and excited about fun activities we've planned for March and April. I have absolutely no regrets about ending things with Man #1...because otherwise I would never have met the guy who's a much better match for me!

How about you? Are you ready to say no to what you don't want in order to have a clean slate and a clear path to what you DO want? If so, let me know. I'd be happy to moral support and guide you!