Wednesday, November 30, 2016

6 RULES OF THUMB FOR DATING IN MIDLIFE

As a coach who specializes in helping singles over 40 have more success with dating, I've recently noticed that at least 40% of my clients are 60 or older. They fall into 3 groups:

1) long-time post-divorce daters who are tired, jaded, or in need of new dating strategies
2) widows/widowers who, after long happy marriages, aren't sure how to begin dating again
3) men and women who've gotten so comfortable being alone that they're not sure they have the desire or ability to be in a close relationship with someone again yet feel the need for companionship

No matter which group they're in, I can help them sort out their feelings, boost their confidence, find places to meet singles their age, and approach dating in a more positive way. I encourage them to follow these 6 rules of thumb for midlife dating:


Love yourself completely: Get comfortable with who you are—your age, your body, your preferences, your beliefs. This will enable you to be confident telling those you date what you believe, what you want, and what you need. Confidence is 70% of the success formula for dating.



Get clear on your “Partner Vision” of the most-compatible person for you. Be specific! Write down your top 5 “must have” traits, 15 strong preferences & 5 “cherry on top” traits that would be nice to have but not absolutely necessary. Put this list in your bedside table to read each night and in your handbag or briefcase to carry with you wherever you go.



Use all 3 methods for meeting new people: singles groups, hobby/Meetup groups, and online dating. There are over-60 single people in all 3 places.



Don’t settle: Hold out for all of what you want—not just 50% or 60%. Be willing to drive people away in the dating world by being authentically yourself. Don’t pretend to be something you think others want. Dating is a screening process that brings you closer and closer to the most compatible partner for YOU.



Employ the 4 P’s of dating success: Positive attitude, Proactivity, Persistence, and Patience.



Create a happy life: “If you’re looking for the love of your life, STOP! He/she will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.” – David Steele, Founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute and Author of Conscious Dating

How about you? Are you over 60 and ready to date but not finding compatible people? If you're sticking to these 6 rules of thumb but still having no luck, you may need some extra moral support or new ideas to jump-start your dating life. If so, give me a call. That's my specialty, and I'd love to help!



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