Change Is Good in Your Dating Life!

Remember the Sheryl Crow song "A Change Would Do You Good"? One of my favorites. Of course, I'm the unusual person who loves change. Most people I meet and coach have some fear of it. Rather than change itself, I think what they really fear is the unknown (i.e., they're not quite sure what'll happen after they make a change).

Fear of the unknown aside, I invite you to consider this: a change really will do you good in many ways in your dating life. Here are a few simple examples:
1) Changing your photo on your online dating profile will attract attention from brand new people who may not have noticed or liked your old photo on the site, giving you more potential dating opportunities
2) Changing up the venues where you go to socialize can help you cross paths with folks you haven't met before--one of whom could be your new boyfriend/girlfriend
3) Changing your attitude about dating (from skeptical to hopeful or from negative to positive) can help you attract more prospects because others like upbeat people

This all makes sense, right? Then, why are so many people afraid of change? Haven't they heard that "when you do the same thing you always did, you get the same results you always got"? Wouldn't it be worth taking a chance on changing things up a bit--even just as an experiment--to see if you get different (and BETTER) results? I think so!!

The April issue of Oprah Magazine has the theme "Are You Ready for a Change?" and includes a great article about starting over again after unexpected change. It tells readers that "When sudden, scary, unwieldy change starts blowing down the doors, you can grieve what's ended and then--however impossible it may seem--embrace what's been set in motion. You can choose to see change as a catalyst, lighting the fuse that propels you into a place that's entirely, stunningly new." 

I love that phrase "stunningly new"!! Isn't it exciting to imagine and envision how stunning the next experience will be--now that you're free to venture forward into new adventures?

The article goes on to say that, when nothing changes in your life, "you have no opportunity to grow, to expand your humanity and the capacity of your heart. You miss out on the essential point of being alive, which is to experience experiences and feel feelings."

I totally agree. This concept applies especially well for those in the dating world who've experienced the unexpected change of a breakup or loss of a partner--as well as for those all-too-common situations when feelings of rejection or frustration set in after a string of dating disappointments. Yes, one door has to close so another one can open. Sometimes, someone has to exit your life to make way for the next, better partner. 

Often, it's only through that drastic change that you got the chance for personal growth that made you a more-evolved "attractor" for healthier relationships. That certainly happened to me after both my marriages ended. And now I've attracted the healthiest partner I've ever been with.

Change is inevitable.It's a waste of energy to try to keep it at bay or to resist it when it comes. Why not just change your mind about the way you'll handle it? It could definitely do you good!