BE YOUR OWN VALENTINE FIRST

Valentine's Day is here again...the time of year when singles feel left out because they don't happen to be part of a couple. It can be discouraging and downright depressing to see all the TV ads, store displays, and media pieces about what gift to buy for or which restaurant to dine at with your partner for this Hallmark holiday.

It doesn't have to be this way. You have the power to reframe the meaning of the celebration. 

You can start by remembering that Valentine's Day is all about cherishing everyone you love--your kids, parents, friends, pets, coworkers, neighbors--even if you aren't currently in a romantic relationship. But, if you're a single person looking for a partner to love, I'd also like to remind you of the importance of focusing on loving YOURSELF first.

As Ken Donaldson says in his 2005 book Marry YourSelf First, "When you commit to Marry YourSelf First, you can be assured that you know who you are, what you want, what you don't want, and the direction of your life. You will then find yourself filled with passionate purpose, and then you will be able to create relationship satisfaction."

Very true! Having a good sense of self and a life of purpose and passion makes you "a great catch" as you're searching for dating prospects...as well as a successful partner once you do form relationships. 

Think about it: aren't you more attracted to someone who really likes and cares for him- or herself and who has the confidence to be authentic? That's someone who embodies self-love. Thus, since the Law of Attraction says you need to "BE who you want to attract", your first step for dating success is to be comfortable with and loving toward yourself.

The more you love yourself, the more worthy of love you'll feel. And, when you feel lovable, it's easier to draw in people who will also see you as lovable.

So...what are you planning to do this Valentine's Day to show yourself some love? Here are a few suggestions:
1) Surround yourself with people you care about
2) Plan an activity that makes you feel fulfilled and happy
3) Pamper yourself in a way you've been promising yourself you would
4) Focus on what you like about yourself, not what you don't like
5) Treat yourself the way you'd treat a significant other on a special holiday

Lastly, remember that self-loving behavior shouldn't be limited to Valentine's Day. If you want to attract love, it should be a daily practice year-round. That involves:
- Being kind and gentle with yourself, without judgment or negative self-talk. 
- Giving yourself the benefit of the doubt, like you would your best friend. 
- Respecting yourself by setting and sticking to personal boundaries. 
- Being totally honest with and true to yourself at all times. 
- Validating yourself rather than seeking validation, approval, and acceptance from others. 

If you need support with any of these practices, let me know. I'm here to help. (gayle@datingsuccesscoaching.com, 267-245-3023)

Once you're more self-loving, you'll be amazed at how many other loving people will gravitate into your life!